when i arrived at yoga class this morning, classmate V* asked "so how's baby this morning?" to be honest i hadnt formulated my thoughts to that coherent of a level yet, but when posed with the direct question, an involuntary chuckle escaped my lips before i ruefully blurted out "baby's kicking my ass!"
everyone says the second trimester is supposed to be the glory months -- bursting with energy, feeling wonderful, glowing all rosy. i.e. the halcyon period of pregnancy. while it's nice to not be nauseated and fatigued all day long anymore, i have to say that the bursting with energy part i'm definitely still waiting for.
so tired was i this morning that i vaguely contemplated skipping class, but ended up making it after all. maybe on days like today, when i'm tired & dragging & not rarin' to go, i might just end up getting more out of yoga than on the enthusiastic days when i'm tearing into each new pose with joy & verve. lowering my expectations, telling myself that all i have to do is show up at the front of my matt & take each pose as it comes, resting when i need to, and being open to the process, well. i gather that's what it's all about. ironic that it seems to come more easily on the days when i don't want to be at practice than on the days when i do. and lo, i found that i was actually able to do all the poses lori invited us to do, today! with only a slight abbreviation and rest break during the inversions.
methinks there is a taoist lesson here somewhere.
in any event, after class, V* asked me if i was feeling better, which i certainly was but still "tired and dragging". however, walking up the street afterwards, i definitely felt the light, cleansed, bouyant, open, free feeling that i have so come to know and love from yoga over the last two years, and have so sorely missed while pregnancy has altered my practice. i started to type "limited" and "reduced" instead of "altered", but realised that probably isn't as helpful of a perspective as "altered." it is what it is, and because the benefits aren't as obvious to me during this strange time when my body has ceased to be my own, doesn't mean the practice is in any way reduced. it's not better or worse; it's just different.
